Warning Labels... Here are some real, absolutely true, label instructions on consumer goods.
* On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
* On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
* On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
* Some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: "Fits one head."
* On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: "Do not turn upside down" (printed on bottom of the box).
* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
* On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."
* On Nytol (a sleep aid): "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
* On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: Keep out of children."
* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
* On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
* On Salnsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."
* On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
* On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."